regarding daddy-hood and My little Noelle

When Noelle was born it opened in me a new world. Though people continually reminded me of all the sleepless nights and, in my particular case, the "payback" for the energy I had as a child, I knew there was far more than that. Is it that most want to warn you of the negatives, or is there a pervasive attitude that children are less than a blessing until they become more "adult-like"? Of these things, I am not sure. But, I do know that as I reflect on the time I had with Noelle as she was a newborn, I only really remember loving her. With Holt here now, I think back to how it was with Noelle, and regardless of my less than stellar memory, I loved her so much, and really cant remember what she "put us through" as an infant.

What I remember is the way my heart raced and joy to the point of tears on a particular morning when I entered her room to get her out of bed and she looked at me, smiled, and with every fiber in her being expressed excitement at knowing that her daddy, her protector, her hero, was there to pick her up. Daddy-hood is not payback!

I have always had a deep connection with Noelle, I think the Lord made her like me in ways that will continue to be revealed throughout lifes experiences. I prayed so hard that she would know that her daddy loves her. When she sits on my lap and lays her head back on my chest with my arms around her little body we both know that it is our special place, where she is safe with her daddy, and he knows his little girl feels her daddy! Daddy-hood is worth any sleepless night!

As I continue to push through the flaws within myself, I have many prayers for Noelle and myself.
I pray constantly that the sin in my heart not drive her from the never failing love of Christ. Noelle does not understand that I work all day, and she should not. I am not patient at the end of the day. I get frustrated when she wants to play with me and I want to just relax on the floor for a while. My patience is short when she wants to read books but turns the pages too fast and doesnt understand why I didnt finish "talking about" each page. But, my selfish sinful heart should never push the important time with her away from me. My laziness and low energy should never effect how she looks at her daddy.
I pray for her soul!! I ask that He pull her close to Him very very early. I want her to understand His love for her and know Him deeply at a very young age.

As she gets older, and becomes more and more independent, I pray that she still needs her daddy's hugs and kisses.
I want this...
Just a day or two before she gets married I want her to come to me and say "Daddy, can I sit in your lap?" I want to hold her with her head on my shoulder and tell her how proud I am of the woman she is. And how much I have prayed for her and how excited I am for her to put her full trust in an honorable man who loves Jesus. I want to talk about her sitting in my lap on the floor when she was two when she had her head on my chest in this same special place. I cant imagine how it will feel that day, knowing that my daddy role will change so much. It will no longer be the same. She will be leaving me to cleave to another man. He will now be the protector and the Hero. I will advise and counsel when needed, and will always love the hugs and kisses, but there is a different role now.

I love being the daddy to my little girl. I look forward to seeing how our relationship evolves as she grows.
I pray she never questions whether her daddy loves her.

Shooting with Intense Customs / Hale's Speed Shop

I met Nate through Chaille's cousin. His shop is behing a body shop in old town lewisville hidden away. And if not for hail damage repair on my truck I would have never known who was behind the cars I had seen around town. Nate's specialty is completely custom airbag suspensions. He favors working on classic cars. He loves to really slam them too!

As I opened the door of my truck in the heat of a Texas summer I could smell the familiar smell of metal being cut with fire. The sound was just as unmistakable. It took me back to my college days, barely able to pay rent with my Muffler Shoppe (the second"p" and the "e" made it fancier) job. I looked over at the shop next to where my wife's cousin was working and saw the Suburban first. It was a late sixties or early seventies Suburban, like the C-10's. It was up on jack stands but those tires were tucked up inside those fenders so deep, that i could clearly see the frame lower than the bottom of the tires. On the other side of the parking lot was filled with classic trucks and cars. Some resting their weight on the framerails in the grave, and some still un-touched. There was a first generation Ford Ranchero in pieces next to a pretty Dodge pickup from the 5o's. And when i say pretty Dodge i mean, the engine was in the bed, two tires were flat, and the seafoam green paint was dotted with pretty orange-red surface rust. As I looked around I remembered that I had needed to meet with Justin (the dent guy who is also my wife's cousin). We did what business we had to do, and i asked all the questions I could about that guy next door. Justin told me about Nate and his love for rebuilding old trucks and cars, but leaving the body as is to maintian the character and history of these story telling machines. Then the mustang pulled up!! I heard it before I saw it. Flowmasters, I thought to myself, 40 series. Then it pulled up. WOW. It was amazing. I have never been a huge mustang guy, but when Eleanore looks you in the face and growls at you before stopping and squatting while the sun gleams off of the glistening paint you cant help but fall in love. That's when TJ got out. He is Nate's right hand man (Nate's only man really, in a two man shop). Then I had to get back to what I was doing. I tore my eyes away and left to finish what I had to do for the day. But those cars were on my mind.
A couple months later, after my truck was finished. I had though of taking some shots with one or any of Nate's work. I even drove around town looking for good shooting locations. Hoping to talk with him and see if he would even want to. I stopped by Justin's shop once in a while, looking and drooling at the 54 Chevy coupe with the flat black paint with red and white pin striping. Or the blue and white 58 big window fleetside that always sat by the door on it's framerails. Finally I decided it was time to talk to him. I was nervous, as if this guy was gonna be a jerk or something. Maybe I was intimidated by his talent or his show quality workmanship.
Im not really sure. But when I walked in and said hello, it was all gone. His longish hair, his long dickies shorts, dirty t-shirt, and worn out sneakers set me at ease. As we chatted I learned about him and his shop. He is only a year younger than I, and at 26 has a college degree and has been running this shop for over eight years. "I did my first suspension for 500 bucks. I just wanted the experience, and he wanted his truck low. I basically gave the first few away to my friends, and as they told people I started getting a reputation. A good reputation is really the most important thing in this industry." And I could tell that his rep was a good one if his quality was any indication. I asked if he would want to shoot some time and he seemed to like the idea. I wanted to do it for free, and he liked having some pictures to show off.

Ill tell all about the shoot in the next post.

Starting a blog

I am excited to get this blog started. I am glad that I can dislpay my work and also be able to write about those experiences.